happy new year

Like most people I made New Years resolutions that I, again like most people, will forget about in approximately three weeks.

• Use time more wisely.
• Tone my midsection through actual exercise (Gasp!)
• Visit a place I've never been to before.
• Read 30 books not related to classes.
• Exercise my patience for others and their opinions.
• Cut down on spending and learn to dress more frugal.
• Get out and meet more people!
• Learn to be civil toward relatives.
• Be a better friend.
• Keep a cleaner house.
• Have a lot of fun and try to surround myself with laughter as much as possible.

Now, these are pretty reasonable. So I thought I should add some predicitions in there. As I am not qualified to make predictions regarding the economy, Nobel Prize winners, or elections I think I'll stick to small stuff.

I predict:

• at least one man will offer me breakfast on my morning bus ride;
• my sister will be incarcerated for the entire year;
• the Negeri Sembilan will be in the Piala Malaysia;
• the Liverpool will make the playoffs;
• we will still have economic woes ;
• I will procrastinate on my outlines again;
• that Afdlin will not win any posthumous awards for anything;
• and that Memey will not be married or pregnant;
• and that Najib will resign late in the year.

Do you agree? Disagree? Care?

grades

All my grades has been posted. Grades are interesting. I kinda know where I sit among my classmates now and it bothers me. All I have to do is maintain a 3.00 GPA which is simple, even when you're taking all math courses and grades weren't really taken into consideration by employers either. Now, I'm "competing" with many others and I'm starting to feel like maybe I don't know how to do this well enough. Don't get me wrong, I am content with my grades. There is always room for improvement...yada, yada, yada. BUT this is where the what ifs start appearing. What if I study more! What if I did more practice exams! And the thing is I may just always be in the spot I'm at, regardless of what I try. I just have to be appreciative that I'm not the last in my class.

What bums me out is that there are students in my class that will be eager to discuss grades on facebook and I can honestly say that I don't want to know how others did.

So, if you are talking about grades around me beware! My formula response will be, "Do you want to share your sex life too? Because that's pretty personal."

I just have to remember that grades can't necessarily network for you. And if there is one thing I can do it's network and talk to strangers. Sometimes a pleasant personality can open a lot of doors for you. At least let's hope it does.

happy birthday

Today is the day that endorses Mattop's (tomorrow is Zarip's) 18 years of age in mother earth. In my humble opinion, birthday is not always about the party or any expensive celebration.

I suggest this is the time when we have to reflect our life all these years. What have we achieved so far? I think I don’t have any to be proud of. Why? Because most of the time, I always fail to conquer myself;

• I easily get cranky when things are not like what I expected. High-tempered; you may put it that way.
• I often run from my problem instead of face it and get a solution of mistakes I’ve done.
• I’m lack of patience.
• I’m afraid to lose yet I often get jealous with others.
• I’m (quite) vindictive. *sigh*

I’m far away from perfection.

Fortunately, I’m not alone. I have family and friends who always give me the great supports I have ever had, find and guide me when I walk on a wrong way, raise me up when I was fall, cheer me when I was sad; they always there for me. They are all God’s gifts to me. And I’m really grateful for that.

This is a tribute to my magical beans…

• My Family.

• My Friends.

• My Gurus and Inspiring People.

Along with my growing numbers of ages, I surely have a wish. A lot of wishes, to be honest. But the most important thing of all; I really wish to change. To be a better person; a better me. And I need your help and support for sure. May God fulfill my wish.

"Happy Birthday To Mattop And Zarip"

padan muka

Have you ever made a very big mistake that you are not be able to sleep well and you really wish you were disappeared from the earth? Cos my friend just did. Two days ago. It was terrible. He did apologize but it seemed that his defensive words came along with the apology. What he did was so stupid and his defensive statement did offend the respondent literally. Oh gosh. He didn't mean to. I swear he didn't. (what he did i cannot tell..top secret..hehe)

Back then, when "I'm sorry" is no longer available to be the best phrase to be mentioned, all he can do is crying. Sometimes he really wish if only he could turn back time and fix what was wrong. But then I realize his experience has taught me a lesson; something that I can't learn at school. Yes, experience is the best teacher. Conclusively, his selfishness, ego, and carelessness are great combination to hit him right on his face. haha

If you want to know about how he felt yesterday, let me give you descriptions so that you can figure it out yourself.

3 messages every 15 minutes which explicitly stated I'm sorry, I regret it. No reply.

10 minutes later, he send a message asking whether if he could give a call. Still no reply.

He decided to make a call straight to his mobile phone. It was dialling but no answer. Suddenly user busy popped up his my mobile. His call was rejected.

9 SMS in total, 1 phone call. No reply at all.

He was down. Hopelessly hopeless. He had nobody to help him to get out of this problem. I encouraged him to keep trying to ask for his mercy, while others just simply said "No worries. Be patient. You shall get over it."

He didn't find what he was looking for. This matter was bugging his sleep. He had insomnia. Thus he prayed in the middle of the night; praying that God would lead the way and told him how much he was sorry for what has happened. he was crying over and over again but since he didn't want to let anyone know, he put eye-cream around my eyes so that they wouldn't get shiner on the following morning. (as what he told me through ym)

What he did was wrong. He admit it. He is sorry. He really am. He regret it. If only he could turn back the time, but we all know it's impossible. Well talk is cheap, hopefully he can keep this thing in mind so that he will never repeat it in the future.

Thank you

A friend of mine grumbled and told me this afternoon about how ungrateful other classmates have been to her as the class captain. People always treat her badly, both classmates and lecturers, by complaining at her about everything; especially when it comes to class cancellation.

She never had a proper vote to be appointed as a class captain, but she has been acting like one from the beginning of the semester. I know it wasn’t her fault; she was just basically being nice and took the initiative. But it seems that nobody cares or even notices about it. Maybe that would explain why she talked to me.

There's one day, before heading back to my room, i saw her alone reading a short notice, the lecturer wrote the chemistry class has been canceled. I saw her trying to spread the news by texting everyone (yes, every single person!) who takes the class. It was intrigued me to ask her why and suggest her to put an announcement in a piece of paper instead. I thought it’s much more simple and costs no money. She bluntly refused the idea.

Truth be told.

She has been doing everything in her power to be a good captain but nobody appreciates it. I know she always sends texts to let others know about new handouts or subjects for the following day. Most of the time, I replied the texts to say 'Thank You' (for the info) since I’m kinda thankful person. I used to thank a lot, I don't know why. Even if I forget to text her back, I always thank her whenever I meet her at campus. Once she said to me, "Thanks for what? You already said that before" and so I thought she has no big deal about this 'Thank You' stuff.

Apparently I was wrong.

Deep down she wants her classmates to kindly reply her text and say 'Thank You'. She needs acknowledgments even though she rarely mentions it. She won’t ask for it, but she just wants you to be well-mannered. Well, hopefully her wish comes true. She deserves it, don't you think?

I can't help wondering though... How often do you say 'Thank You'? Do you thank your friends, even for a simple task? What about the waiters/waitresses? The parking attendants? The doorman? The housemaid? Tell me.