s.m.s.t.j.k.p.n.s.m.

Current mood: blessed

My life is more than I could ever ask for. Filled with dreams, hope and strong believe of a better tomorrow. But there are times I’m a prisoner of my own feelings and captivated by one single moment I cannot escape from. I’m just one man with nothing I never showed you or the world. A man with all his feelings in his hands, eyes looking for something much more and love up way above. The storm has hit this man and he’s going down.

I miss my friends. Never known them for the whole life I’m living is a torturing mystery to somebody as brittle as me. Not trying to make it sound dramatic, but I miss the things we were doing before. To have a dinner together, somebody to do homework with, someone to support me from the front row of my tennis competition, putting up merdeka day ornaments even though it looks like a mess or at least having a "family" picture together.

I’m not talking about chasing the past like a mad man or looking back and weep. Sometimes where I came from is very important for me; I straighten my vision and focus of what in front of me. The past gave me a lot of things and a ground to stand on, so why can’t we make that ground ourselves now? A good friend of mine, qarim he said "life is about options and what we choose."So starts choose what’s right for you NOW, believe in it and make that life living for you.

I was kept alive among people who always taught me about life and how should I walk on it. love education is given to that young cub long back then. wise words or advice on how to deal with emotions as I grew older; just essentially kept alive and develop into a soulful mind. It’s kinda sad really when I think about it on how supportive this "family" is.

I never kept any grudge; my heart will not take another heart ache. God has given me with such a flexible heart, I’m nothing more but an ordinary human being. I’m numb plus I’m tired, so I choose to erase and rewind.

I guess it’s too late now to grab what we lost in the past and all I want now is making a new start with me. As God is my witness, this person infront this pc will become someone in the future with no regrets of his past. He will walk that road of New York in his flashy suits and glamorous boots made only by-request-ordering from maestro designers of the world. What I do know now, I could never forget who I am and the people who keep completing my puzzle along the way. The sweet, the bitter, the joy and the pain; it’s a part of me.

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