engrish

Oftentimes, I encounter some people who send messages or texts to me in a language that I cannot understand. This language is so complex, its a wonder how people could understand it. It is like a bunch of stupid people had a gathering on how to piss off people with a higher intellect, and this is what they came up with. An annoying form of broken Engrish. Yes, I said Engrish. Listening to people with heavy accents and minimal knowledge of the language is easier to decipher than this bunch of shit. Because an immigrant person who knows little English, does not beat around the bush. They go from Point A to Point B with what they want. "How to go Downtown" That was not even necessarily a question nor does it need to be grammatically correct, but I am able to understand that the person wants to go to downtown. It takes me and some of my friends a good chunk of our precious time to decipher what sort of stupid is sent to us through any devices. As I read these messages, I can feel the blood in the veins of my eyes start to boil because I get angry when I am given dosages of stupid that I do not want to take. Think of it like the Hulk, the more stupid I am exposed to, the angrier I get. And the angrier I get, the more I want to choke the fuck out of the person who sent me the message. Reading messages like "hI!! hWz iT g01n?? R u bZy 2mRw?? o4Rl??? DaT sUx! dO u wnt 2 g0 2 dA mOvEeZ wIf mE n mAiI fReNzZ?" makes me want to take the phone or keyboard and slam it across the face of the sender, even if they are my friends. First of all, your question is already moot, because I probably deleted it anyways after hiring an Ace team of code breakers and linguists. Second of all, Shut the fuck up. If you cannot speak like a normal person that anyone could understand if they could speak that language. Kindly shut the fuck up, and run into a tree until you can speak the language correctly. Then talk to me, and ask me about going to the movies. Or if you even want to save time on texting, you could always just FUCKING CALL THE PERSON.